Of Course That's A Hippo! Perception.

"Is this THE alphabet book?"

At last weeks Parent/Teacher conference my sons Kindergarten teacher told me that during every recess Julian goes to the writing table and tries to write books while the other kids play.  Aw, chip off the ole block.  His teacher told me he was particularly proud of his Alphabet Book.   When he handed it to me I felt a warm feeling for him, he hadn't told me he liked to make books.  It was a big deal for him to give it to me.   We sat on the couch together, in a familiar posture of me holding and reading, him listening.  But this time,  I was reading his letters and guessing at his pictures.  I hoped I wouldn't let him down by not understanding what he was trying to put across.  Perception is so particular.

 Apple. Nice!

Banana! Sweet.

 Ah, a little less straight forward, but I got it.  Caterpillar! Right on.

 Dinosaur! This is easy!

 Ummmm...Eagle? Yep.  Phew!

 I held my breath just a beat before I said "Frog!" Yes! Fist pump.

It got a little Rorschach for me here.  The "Go0"threw me off also.  I did not know that the second "O"  was a head.  I admit I struggled with this one.  He gave it to me..."Gorilla." OF COURSE! Forehead slap.

 H...bit of a stumper...my confidence was low due to the fail on Gorilla.  "Hog?" I asked hesitantly.  His smile went into a slit as found on a slot machine.  Dang.   "Hippo," he said, like I was an imbecile.  I was glad as long as he didn't blame himself.  "Of course that's a hippo!" I said. "Oh my gosh, anyone with a set of eyes knows that." "You didn't," Julian said.  Ah- hem.

Oh, man.  This was beyond me.  WTF.  He looked at me, staring at my eyes waiting for the answer to appear there.  Perception is so particular- and I'll add -a fickle master.  I sucked my teeth and shook my head, focus Susan.  WTF is brown and has 4 legs, a tail and a white face with a long beard? I needed to buy time. "I love what you did with the head, is that a mane?" I pointed to the white area.  "NO! That's not the head!" he shouted.  "This is the head!" He pointed to the opposite end, which then of course looked more like a head and not a kicked up leg.  I couldn't figure out the white ass. I was familiar with a pink ass.  Baboon? "I give up," I said.  He looked disappointed.  It was dawning on him that it may be the artist and not the observer.  Curtains.  "It's a jaguar, mom," he said, more quietly.  "Oh! Yes, Julian, I am not smart enough to think of an animal that special, I only think of like, dogs, cats..." T'was a tad disheartening that the idea that I was a total dolt was so easily understood.  But he straightened up his back and that was what mattered here.  Right? Kinda.   This next one was do or die.

 "Kid!" I said.  He rolled his eyes and put his neck into a reverse plank.  "Oh my gosh,  It's a Kansas City football player." But he was laughing because he knew that was  not something I would know about.  It was the grey areas that created all the tension. "Kansas City has a football team?! Just kidding."  We laughed and hugged and turned the page.

 FFFFFFF...More big blobs with four legs and white behinds...at least I knew which end was up this time..."I love the cute little head...L for Little Turtle?" He shrunk back,  his eyes never leaving my face. "That's the tail mama,"  the jig was up and we both knew it. "this one is a mane, these are eyes, it's-"  I cut him off! "A lion!" Wipe forehead with back of hand. That was close.  He remained slumped but smiled.

 Come on now...seriously? I can't remember what this one was.  I  know I squinted hard and held my breath- constipated in thought.  Dear God, please give me the answer, Rottweiler? Rabbit? Roach?  I never got it.  In case you missed it we jumped from L to R...he didn't.  They were all in the book and all looked almost exactly the same as these.   M, N, O, P, Q...R.

 Another blob.  I wanted to cry. "You get 38 guesses,"  THIRTY EIGHT!! He smiled brightly, this was fun! Looking at me then the picture, me then the picture. I was cooked after sloth, but I championed.  Squirrel.  Nope.  Snake? A snake doesn''t have legs!! Right.  So much of this picture makes sense.  Sheep.  What?!

 "A skunk," I said.  "Yep!" I seriously think it was Divine Intervention.  The pride on his face was worth every ounce of sweat.  Pretty much.

Your guess...you have 38 guesses. 

Hint: Most of the time People are not putting out what we are perceiving.  A hippo is usually not a hog.    It's a rare day where we take pause to sit and exchange and understand the different ways we see things- at any age.  

Merry Christmas. 

It was the best book I ever read.   

Pity Party-What comes before part B? Part A!

Songs: Ke$ha- Timber
           Shoop Salt-n-Pepa


It was a crowd of three that swelled to seven and thinned from there.  Karaoke,  open bar and food.  Christmas lights everywhere.

Wednesday morning the huz told me to go get me hairs did.

He had been hinting around about a karaoke surprise party for me that in the three weeks since my birthday had never materialized.  Sounded to me like this day was the big day.
"Really?" I asked. "Is tonight the night?"
"Well, how long does it last?" he asked, meaning a salon blow-out.
"I don't know, three days, four with baby powder?"
"Yeah, I'd do it today," he smiled like a rascal.

In my mind I began to prepare as if for a parade.  Me the float.  I would smile in a way that made all of my friends better for having seen it.  I'd sing songs that would bring great galls of laughter but also make them wonder if I'd ever cut a demo.  My thanks-for-coming speech would make the listeners nudge the person next them, with what's called the God nod.  A nod of emotional recognition so deep they'd felt it was delivered by The Almighty Himself.  They'd search their pockets for tissues.  Wonder why they didn't get to see me more.

As I've mentioned in the past, at present, I am not the most social butterfly in the net.  I was super social growing up and through/post college.  I'd say in the last ten years I'm more likened to being back in the cocoon.  However, being at my friends wedding a few weeks back and dancing and laughing and well, socializing with all the old crew- had me experiencing something of a  renaissance.  I liked it.  I have always loved people, that never waned.  I am a true lover of people.   The capacity of the human heart never fails me.  The power of a word, a smile, a four letter word.  Human connection makes me jolly.

So Wednesday,  7 o'clock the huz calls and says, "So you know your party's tonight right?," he sounded excited.
"I do!" I said.  I'm no dummy, if he's asking me, he's telling me.
"Well, listen I just wanted to let you know no ones coming, really, like some people are, awesome people, but none of the... like... your friends from growing up or the wedding or anything, or your sisters."
I thought that he was trying to re-surprise me-get me all un-psyched so that the surprise would be that much bigger, or well, at this point- exist.
"Oh, Okay," I said.  Pull this leg it plays Jingle Bells.
"Okay," he said, relieved.  "I just wanted you to know because I don't want you to be upset."
I could tell from his voice that he was being sincere.  Tears started running down my cheeks.
"Okay?" he asked. "You good with that? We'll have a lot of fun. It's going to be a lot of fun.  Get dressed.  I'll be there in half an hour."
"Yea, totally," I said.  I did not let him know I had tears running down my face.  I did not see how it was going to to be a lot of fun.  I didn't know what to wear to a party where no one was coming.
I texted some childhood friends who were in the area, "Danny told me about the party and that you're not coming. I'm so sad (insert sad emoji)."
I dabbed my eyes and decided applying make-up would be futile because the tears wouldn't stop coming.  I decided on clothes.  All black, all tight, all covered.
Amazing what done hair does for a person.  Even in my dour attire, my flippy lid shouted -party!  A friends mom said, "Hair is like the bed in the room, if the bed is made, the room looks clean.  If it's not made, no matter how clean,  the room looks dirty."  No truer words.  I felt better in my hot pants and shirt.  I was ready for eyes.  A swipe of mascara, some liner.  Done that.  Earrings.  All set.  I was ready to hit that karaoke machine and yell, "Timber!" Ke$ha-style.

My three sons kept coming up and around me. "Where are you going mama?!" They were not having it.  "You look gross," my oldest said.  Thanks.  "I think you look nice, mom," my middle one said, hiding his mouth behind his closed fist, shy.  "Lookatchooo!" My little one said, (Hankie), that's his new exclamation, "Lookatchoooo!!!" haha.  How could I be sad?  I checked my texts, no replies.  I should have held off on that mascara.

We walked up to the bar.  It was lit up like a Christmas tree, as festive as the parade I'd mentally prepared for.  The bit of hope I had that Danny was lying about no one coming was alive and kicking.  I made sure my hands were free to cover my ears so my hearing didn't suffer when they screamed "SURPRISE!".   The door opened...

"Hey," my friend said.  She was sitting with two others, a really nice friend of hers I'd met a couple of times and another super cutie.  "Haaaaaaapppy Birthdaaaay!"

"Hi!" I said.  Kissing them on their cheeks hello.

So it wasn't The Macy's Day parade.  It was still great.   Those who showed up on what I now know was very little notice are just the best.  My sweet huz for (dis)organizing a celebration for me made me so happy.  I am not a girl who draws crowds.  I'm an intimate dinner.  (At home, in my pajamas with two or more books by my side.)  That damn wedding got me all confused, I had momentarily lapsed into thinking I was who I used to be a decade ago.  We probably should have just walked across the street and sat down for dinner but I held them hostage there until I'd sung at least one Salt n Pepa.

Then we all yelled timberrrrrr.


This link helped!! haha - it really did:O