By Susan Saraf

By Susan Saraf

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Tan Mom :)

Good morning!  Facebook.  I wake up this morning and I have two messages in my inbox- one from my sister and one from a friend. "Seriously...lol", says Peggy's and "r u serious? what r u getting ready for? the Spring Fling?", says my sister Kerry.  I am confused so I go to Facebook.

"Susan Saraf bought 3-6 sessions of Tanning Bed Sessions at (Somewhere in Lynbrook) from Groupon!"

I turned three shades of a red I would not like to achieve from my Groupon purchase- I am hoping for a bronze color not afforded by my Irish skin but attainable by a spray-tan.  I actually opted for the spray-tan not the beds. I am interested in being coated head to toe in chemicals to turn into a color not found in nature- not radiation.  There's a big difference.  And no, I am not crashing Garden City High School's Spring Fling.  I'm going to Mexico.  I thought it might be nice to get a leg up on my aging beach bod.  How embarrassing. And thank goodness for my wisenheimer crony's or I would have never known that my mid-life crisis was being PUBLISHED ON FACEBOOK! Lucky for me Groupon didn't have a deal on Botox. (I looked). Or boobs. (I didn't). "Susan Saraf bought 2 Double D's from a quack in Valley Stream!"

After I deleted the Groupon post and finished having my coronary - I started scrambling.  How many hours was the post visible on Facebook?  I think I fell asleep at about 11 o'clock.  I know I bought it pretty close to lights out.   So let's say 10:45pm.  On a Friday.  I learned of the horror at about 7 o'clock this morning.  That's not bad.  Who's checking Facebook in the middle of the night?  Besides those two clowns I mentioned above:D  I asked Danny to do the math, "It doesn't matter everyone saw it.",  he said. "That's hilarious." He was a big help.

The thing is...and a small part of the reason I didn't post my blog yesterday- aside from the small fact that I thought yesterday was Wednesday- and that I had nothing to write about- is that I don't know who "everyone" is.   Who is out there?  I average a bunch of views a week- (haha)- but only about 3-7 "likes" or comments.  Mostly, from my mom and family.  So...who's reading? Like me! Like me! Like me! Just Kidding, sorta.  I don't mind being your guilty pleasure - you perverts - I reason at least I have control of the content- and I can see the numbers.  On Facebook, we have no idea and now anything you do can be published.  I guess that's how all famous people feel, stars. Wait a minute. Oh my God! I'm a star! I feel just like the stars! Praise Jesus! It's a miracle it's happened.  Oh, forget all those heebie- jeebies.  Thank you Facebook for allowing me to have them.  I've arrived. Talk on!

Thumbs up to you.

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