Get Lost

You disappeared without a trace. As if I meant nothing to you. As if we meant nothing to each other.
At first I wasn't sure if I really lost you. If you were gone for good. I tried calling you, again and again, walking from room to room. I'd think he's here, he's got to be in here. Just one more time, please, answer me and be here.  Of course, you never picked up. How could you? I was devastated. I am devastated, still, even though anyone with eyes would think I never cared, that you had been easily replaced. But if you showed up tomorrow I'd gladly return what I have to get you back. What I have now looks better, shinier and new, but it's not the same. So much was lost when I lost you, the images, the memories. The agony of your betrayal. I put you in my world, an all access pass, whoever I knew, you knew. You were with me all the time, we were together all the time. How did I become so careless? I took my eyes off of you for one minute and....

Everything we had was lost in that instant. I must have replayed that night in my head a hundred thousand times. I can never figure it out. It makes no sense. You were there and then you weren't.

But I should have seen the signs You stopped taking my calls as often, you started dropping off as if you couldn't quite hear me anymore. When I grabbed you, you'd freeze and I'd have to backtrack, massage you to get you to act normal again. When our time together used to typically be so easy, now it was strained. I see that now. I didn't want to then. I wanted it to work.

Oh, cell phone. I miss the way you buzzed in my purse. The way you took pictures and videos so easily, capturing all of my favorite moments, moments with my family, friends, pets, clothes, the new bathroom. It had been so long since I backed you up, again, I know that is my fault. I got careless, took you for granted. And now all the pictures of the boys with the new baby are memories in my head, never to be seen in a frame other than my mind. Oh me oh my. Why? Why? Why?

But you know what? I'm done with you anyway.  I've got a newer version, that can actually work in the dark, unlike you, who stammered around half blind, missing everything.  Plus, my case is better, its a hard one and way better than that floppy rubbery thing you used. Who needs you anyway? Not me. I'm glad you got lost, stay lost! "Lose" er!

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