Song: The Gambler- Kenny Rogers
* As you can tell by my Woman of The Month pieces- no one should waste their time wondering who the man in this story is-I meet people everywhere and have deep/peculiar conversations with most. :) Onward. *
After I told this man that my family and I were moving to California, he told me a story of his own. He had saved up $500,000-had it in the bank. He had paid off the mortgage on his home and he and his wife, both 50 at the time, who were always thinking themselves of moving from New York to California, were about to do just that. They set a date to move for a year later, when in the eleventh hour his wife was diagnosed with cancer. The medical bills depleted their savings to a zero balance (that trusty bank account, that wonderful health insurance)- they had to refinance the house and then-cherry on top- he lost his job! It was now five years later and he had a new job, is working his way toward a mortgage and best of all his wife is cancer free.
"So, you see? You really need to save before a move like that," he said. "We were all set and still."
His message was you can never be too careful.
I had a much different take away from his story. What I heard was "No matter how much you save or how much you plan, God (or the universe or whatever new-age thing you believe in) has other plans, so go forth- carpe diem! I had not told this man what we had saved or lined up, I feel very comfortable with those things...but I can tell you it's not half a mill in the savings and owning the homestead outright. Seems at this rate- I'd live my whole life for that to happen and then poof! Work another lifetime to get it back again? No, thanks. It's not that I didn't feel for him, but the logic seems so off to me. But I am finding that my logic is off to most every relative I tell our plan too. "You're doing what? You're going where?"
I have never been a risk averse person, not really. I have never been reckless either. Maybe for a night or two (;) but never in life choices. I pursued acting, but with a Masters Degree behind me so that I could teach one day... if I didn't say...win an oscar. Turns out I didn't win an Oscar and the degree on the whole is pretty useless. But I knew what I wanted and at the time these were my choices:
1.) Being a waitress and foraging alone with a random combination of classes at HB Studios or the like. 2.) Going to a three year intensive program where I fostered relationships and earned my MFA.
3.) Choosing to stay in a 9-5 job I knew I wasn't content with at 22 felt like a death sentance.
I knew I wasn't going with 3.). 22 was just too young to settle down. At least it was for me. I'm sure there are plenty who are still pushing pretty much the same papers they did at 22 at 52 and it's worked out beautifully, that wasn't my path.
I went with option 2.). That felt like the better choice for a while. While earning (buying:) my masters at The Actors Studio Drama School, a teacher turned me on to Williamstown Theater Festival- that was the best summer of my life. I'd say before I had my son to appease the responsible and moral but really Wiliamstown was the best. Sorry First born, I know it must sound cruel but hauling 80lbs of sunscreen, stroller and pack 'n play to the beach didn't trump hanging under the Main Stage talking to Ethan Hawke about Reality Bites. And really that was only a small part -it was months of everything theater. I got to talk to the art department about costumes. I wrote and had a staged reading of my first play. I'd walk to lunch and wave to Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward while they sat on a wall eating sandwiches. Williamstown was like a dream. Did I need three years of training for what I learned in one summer at Williamstown? Williamstown wasn't associated with The Actor's Studio Drama School and while I heard of it from my teacher there, I prolly would have found it eventually. Cost-wise that was a summer internship the equivalent of one interest payment on that "responsible" three year loan. So, what was the safer choice? Maybe the calculated risk was actually a bigger fail- although it may look better on the outside. I have a degree and I get to say I was in class with Bradley Cooper, (someone who was nominated for an Oscar). Net gain? Massive student loans, being a douche name-dropper a few times a year and memories of people I see only on Facebook. Other than that...not sure. Having had Williamstown, I can obviously still be a douche name-dropper without The Actors Studio, and I do so enjoy that! Ah snap, I can be a douche even without the name dropping. Well, I will say, on a positive note- of the three choices presented then - one never comes up. I never say, "I should have stuck with that 9-5 job. Ever. My feeling now is, if you're not ready to jump without a net, don't jump. I don't play in traffic but I live on a busy street. You feel me?
And that brings me around to your major life choices. When do you stop taking major risks? I guess when you have school aged kids? But I have friends who don't have kids and are risk averse because of their jobs? So do you stop taking risks when you're employed for 3 years? When you have a safe job with the government? Oh wait, but they shut down. Foiled again! Okay, maybe it's age. When you're 32? 35? 45? 28? What is it? What does it mean to you? What should it mean to me? I'm not looking to mess up my life, but I don't think I'm ready to live always wondering either.
* As you can tell by my Woman of The Month pieces- no one should waste their time wondering who the man in this story is-I meet people everywhere and have deep/peculiar conversations with most. :) Onward. *
After I told this man that my family and I were moving to California, he told me a story of his own. He had saved up $500,000-had it in the bank. He had paid off the mortgage on his home and he and his wife, both 50 at the time, who were always thinking themselves of moving from New York to California, were about to do just that. They set a date to move for a year later, when in the eleventh hour his wife was diagnosed with cancer. The medical bills depleted their savings to a zero balance (that trusty bank account, that wonderful health insurance)- they had to refinance the house and then-cherry on top- he lost his job! It was now five years later and he had a new job, is working his way toward a mortgage and best of all his wife is cancer free.
"So, you see? You really need to save before a move like that," he said. "We were all set and still."
His message was you can never be too careful.
I had a much different take away from his story. What I heard was "No matter how much you save or how much you plan, God (or the universe or whatever new-age thing you believe in) has other plans, so go forth- carpe diem! I had not told this man what we had saved or lined up, I feel very comfortable with those things...but I can tell you it's not half a mill in the savings and owning the homestead outright. Seems at this rate- I'd live my whole life for that to happen and then poof! Work another lifetime to get it back again? No, thanks. It's not that I didn't feel for him, but the logic seems so off to me. But I am finding that my logic is off to most every relative I tell our plan too. "You're doing what? You're going where?"
I have never been a risk averse person, not really. I have never been reckless either. Maybe for a night or two (;) but never in life choices. I pursued acting, but with a Masters Degree behind me so that I could teach one day... if I didn't say...win an oscar. Turns out I didn't win an Oscar and the degree on the whole is pretty useless. But I knew what I wanted and at the time these were my choices:
1.) Being a waitress and foraging alone with a random combination of classes at HB Studios or the like. 2.) Going to a three year intensive program where I fostered relationships and earned my MFA.
3.) Choosing to stay in a 9-5 job I knew I wasn't content with at 22 felt like a death sentance.
I knew I wasn't going with 3.). 22 was just too young to settle down. At least it was for me. I'm sure there are plenty who are still pushing pretty much the same papers they did at 22 at 52 and it's worked out beautifully, that wasn't my path.
I went with option 2.). That felt like the better choice for a while. While earning (buying:) my masters at The Actors Studio Drama School, a teacher turned me on to Williamstown Theater Festival- that was the best summer of my life. I'd say before I had my son to appease the responsible and moral but really Wiliamstown was the best. Sorry First born, I know it must sound cruel but hauling 80lbs of sunscreen, stroller and pack 'n play to the beach didn't trump hanging under the Main Stage talking to Ethan Hawke about Reality Bites. And really that was only a small part -it was months of everything theater. I got to talk to the art department about costumes. I wrote and had a staged reading of my first play. I'd walk to lunch and wave to Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward while they sat on a wall eating sandwiches. Williamstown was like a dream. Did I need three years of training for what I learned in one summer at Williamstown? Williamstown wasn't associated with The Actor's Studio Drama School and while I heard of it from my teacher there, I prolly would have found it eventually. Cost-wise that was a summer internship the equivalent of one interest payment on that "responsible" three year loan. So, what was the safer choice? Maybe the calculated risk was actually a bigger fail- although it may look better on the outside. I have a degree and I get to say I was in class with Bradley Cooper, (someone who was nominated for an Oscar). Net gain? Massive student loans, being a douche name-dropper a few times a year and memories of people I see only on Facebook. Other than that...not sure. Having had Williamstown, I can obviously still be a douche name-dropper without The Actors Studio, and I do so enjoy that! Ah snap, I can be a douche even without the name dropping. Well, I will say, on a positive note- of the three choices presented then - one never comes up. I never say, "I should have stuck with that 9-5 job. Ever. My feeling now is, if you're not ready to jump without a net, don't jump. I don't play in traffic but I live on a busy street. You feel me?
And that brings me around to your major life choices. When do you stop taking major risks? I guess when you have school aged kids? But I have friends who don't have kids and are risk averse because of their jobs? So do you stop taking risks when you're employed for 3 years? When you have a safe job with the government? Oh wait, but they shut down. Foiled again! Okay, maybe it's age. When you're 32? 35? 45? 28? What is it? What does it mean to you? What should it mean to me? I'm not looking to mess up my life, but I don't think I'm ready to live always wondering either.
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