By Susan Saraf

By Susan Saraf

Thursday, July 14, 2011

I SO wanted this to be a fun one...

A few weeks ago I went to the post office. I dred the post office, especially when I have kids in tow. I've never been there when there's no line, and the staff, though pleasant enough when I finally get to them ripe with frustration and attitude, seem to get a perverse thrill at taking their time. A gentleman in his late sixties was standing behind me and my three year old son, I had my infant strapped to me in the carrier. I was doing my best. The man said hi a few times to my son, he had an aggressive vibe. My son who, although obviously not shy, turned his face and shook his head. He dissed him. The man looked hurt, I felt proud. Then my toddler getting bored and busy checked himself behind the cart that sells Fedex packs and such. I said, "Come here, if mama can't see you, someone could take you from me." To this the man threw up his hands, "See, you shouldn't do that, you shouldn't scare him! That's why he doesn't talk to people like me." I looked at him with compassion. "Exactly." I said. "I just shouldn't even bother, people like you will never get it." he said.

Oh but I do. I do get it. What this man I never laid eyes on before expected  from me and my three year old was something I'm glad we didn't deliver. First of all, what was his stake in getting a three year old to acknowledge him. Weird. Second, it didn't bother me, my son talks to his grandparents, friends and people we know. What does he need to talk to this random for? Listen, I wish we lived in a world where a grandfatherly like figure can be trusted, of course I do. But that is not where we live. We live in a world where most people are good, but its not worth the risk of promoting that because of the some that aren't.  *Incidentally, Channel four news reported this morning that of the 20,000 missing persons reported in NY every year, the majority are runaways, 200 are abducted but mostly by family members and only 2 have been killed since 2004.

A friend went to buy furniture at Bloomingdales outlet on Voice Road on Long Island yesterday. The salesman, Jeff, took great umbrage at her four year old who wanted her attention. He glared at her little boy and this is what he said. "Can't you see I'm talking to your mother? If you interrupt us again I will put you in my car and take you on a big adventure, you will never see your mother again and she'll never know where you are." My friend said it was like a flip switched in her brain, she lost it and rightly got the manager. I hope he lost his job, but will that just teach him to not say it next time and do it instead? Only thoughts lead to actions. He has told us who he is.  As the great Maya Angelou says, and Oprah quotes often, "The first time someone shows you who they are believe them." What do we need to wait for? Stuff and cuff, Jeff. See ya!

I'm heart sick over that sweet little boy, Leiby Kletzky. I thought of the mother going over the route with him, not wanting and wanting to give her son his first triumph of independence. Maybe she said, if you get lost ask someone. Burrough Park, notoriously safe, trusting. Her waiting, her realizing. (Btw, notice she hasn't posed for pictures and partied it up.)  I cried for her and her husband. My husband shed tears too. That poor family. The terrified innocent boy. The Huffington post did a great job reporting and the comments are worth reading. I felt better knowing thousands agree on the devastation, not blaming the parents and that this monster should be tortured and killed, his own parents prayed for. All except for, "Martiniandabotoxchaser", who said, obviously under the influence of too many chasers, and I paraphrase, "I really just hope they are sure they have the right person, it would be horrible if they are accusing the wrong person." THEY FOUND THE LITTLE BOYS FEET IN THE MAN'S REFRIGERATOR!!? With bloody butcher knives. He confessed. What more do you need?  I bet Martini is working for the other team, probably has body parts in her fridge and needs to be looked at too.

I had to tell my five year old, who has a penchant for running as fast as he can -away from me. No matter what I do/say to him I can't get him to stay reasonably by my side. I had to risk him having nightmares in his bed last night so that he wouldn't risk living a nightmare somewhere some unknown place else.  I didn't provide all the gory details, but gave enough that by the time it was bathtime he asked about it again. "Will the bad man go to jail?" he asked. "Yes, forever." I said, sadly, doubtful.  "and lots of shots!" My three year old who didn't know the story jumped on board, I thought "Gunshots? That's the spirit!" "They take him to the doctors office and do's shots, mama, lots of lots of shots." He said, pumping his chubby little fist. Oh, bless.

That man in the post office may be right.  I may be wrong to use fear to try to keep my kids as safe as I can, but I hope forever that the worst fear my babies can relate to is shots at the pediatrician.

How do you feel? What do you think?

Do we always need to go with the flow?

**I have tried to check the right boxes on this (for me) complicated format, hopefully it will be easier to leave a comment on the blog, but thank you so much for the emails and visits, we broke 600 this week! 

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