By Susan Saraf

By Susan Saraf

Saturday, July 23, 2011

The Fifth Agreement

Many of you liked The Four Agreements post best, and by many of you I mean my mom. This week had me thinking on trust in friendship. I hope you will take any of my posts and apply them to your own life.

Trusting yourself and trusting others. When to stay in, when to walk out. That is a big question and weakness for me. We need to learn to forgive ourselves and others for saying and doing careless things. We all do it. Well, all of you do it. I’m perfect. That's the fifth agreement. Be Impeccable With Your Word. Don't Take Anything Personally. Always Do Your Best. Susan Saraf is Perfect. (and so are you:)

Here’s an excerpt directly from pages 58-59 (I had a hard time stopping its all so good)
            When we really see other people as they are without taking it personally, we can never be hurt by what they say or do. Even if others lie to you, it is okay. They are lying to you because they are afraid. They are afraid you will discover that they are not perfect It is painful to take the social mask off. If others say one thing, but do another, you are lying to yourself if you don’t listen to their actions. But if you are truthful with yourself, you will save yourself a lot of emotional pain. Telling yourself the truth about it may hurt, but you don’t need to be attached to the pain. Healing is on the way, and it’s just a matter of time before things will be better for you.
            If someone is not treating you with love and respect, it is a gift if they walk away from you. If that person doesn’t walk away, you will surely endure many years of suffering with him or her. Walking away may hurt for a while, but your heart will eventually heal. Then you can choose what you really want. You will find that you don’t need to trust others as much as you need to trust yourself to make the right choices.
            When you make it a strong habit not to take anything personally, you avoid many upsets in your life. Your anger, jealousy, and envy will disappear, and even your sadness will simply disappear if you don’t take things personally.
            There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally. …The whole world can gossip about you and if you don’t take it personally, you are immune. Someone can intentionally send emotional poison, and if you don’t take it personally, you will not eat it. When you don’t take the emotional poison, it becomes even worse in the sender, but not in you.”

That last line seems out of step with the proliferation of love but hey, if you're looking for a motivator...

Good week! xx



3 comments:

Marie said...

SO true. Love you~

Cara said...

i love this book and try SO hard to live by it- but it's impossible! hahahaha. seriously, how do you NOT take things personally? is it reality to look at someone and what they are saying and think "oh, poor you, this is all about you and not me". i try my best to do my best and be impeccable with my word, but this one is a stumper for me... love your posts, keep em comin :)

susan said...

Hi Cara!! I have been thinking about what you said. I think that the shift we need to make is from external to internal. So, its not so much "oh, poor you.." but not "oh poor me..." It's not letting someones feelings about you dictate the feelings you have about yourself. and sometimes it is you, and taking responsibility for that. i think. ha!xx!