Book - HBR'S 10 MUST READS - On Managing Yourself
Song- Red Light District - Midi Matilda
"The marginal cost of doing something wrong "just this once' always seems alluringly low. You don't see the end result to which that path leads. The key is to define what you stand for and draw the line in that safe place."~Christensen
Danny (husband) was reading a book, HBR'S 10 MUST READS On Managing Yourself-Harvard Business Reviews 10 Best Articles on Managing Yourself. I supposed, like most of us with not enough hours in the day, that I could use some best advice on how to manage this self- meaning myself. It has been a great read so far.
I haven't read each piece- I'm amazed I got a chance to read two of the ten actually- WAAAAHHHHHH- but the first piece How Will You Measure Your Life? by Clayton M. Christensen talks about doing something wrong or against your values or schedule "just this once." Like, (these are not his examples,) "Oh, just this once I'll skip yoga, " "Just this once I won't make my weekly deposit into my savings account," "Just this once I'll put others opinion of me before my opinion of myself," "Just this once I won't speak up," "Just this once I'll let the kids eat in the car," "Just this once I'll skip my post,":D
The thing is that "just once" usually turns into "just one more time" and then "pretty much always." For instance, I was committed to publishing a blog post every Thursday night. Then, after about a year of consistent effort-I thought, well, just this once, I'll do it on Friday...or not at all. At this point I pretty much have a Friday post. It is easier to predict that I will post on a Friday then a Thursday, even though the subheading to Spunkerfly is Thursday Night Post. "Well, how often did I find Page Six of the NYPost on page six?" I rationalized. Game show X. I've been able to recoup an audience but it took a lot more work then if I had remained consistent. As for "the kids can eat in the car just once, it's ice cream- they're screaming"? There isn't enough Febreze on this earth to battle the stench in my minivan. Gimme five. I might have to drive with Scuba head gear so I can look straight ahead but have the air vent out the window.
I have ten and a half point two (roughly) examples going on right now. My "Just Once's" have become a pile of dread's. I'm in a dread lock. I'm not talking Rasta mahn. I'm talking definition b.
Listen up- it's hard for me to put something off-once I put something off- I've told myself it's not something I want to do- getting back to doing that thing I didn't want to do so badly I put it off in the first place becomes a lock. My energy is sucked into feeling bad about that, so the next goal doesn't feel clean and have that excitement behind it. My message to myself is, well, you quit before, you might quit again. And I'm in dread lock. Dread lock! No fun. So, this "just once" rule, really struck a cord with me. Stick to your good habits, Susan!
Last night I hit the campaign trail with my friend and SpunkerFLY Woman of the Month of June, Laura Curran. Oh, and Nassau County Legislature Nominee. (Is that more important that SWOTM? Maybe.) Anyway, it was a thing I found myself putting off and was feeling worse about putting off. What a treat. I learned so much listening and watching my pal go door to door. We started at dinner time. I was sure this was prime door slam hour...hate to overuse a word but as excited as I was to support and spend time with my friend, I'm not much of a door knocker- dread. I anticipated being scowled at, slammed on, and feeling awkward...all the wonderful positive places my mind goes to in the name of glad-handing. What a surprise to learn that people were actually happy to see us! Happy may be a stretch, on the whole, but some were! Yes, I can say that some were positively happy. Others merely interested- which is a leap and bound above slamming and scowling. Only one person said, "he died a year and a half ago," when we asked if the person was home. Otherwise, super positive. One couple actually came out and called to us from down the block. "My wife wants to know why didn't you knock on our door?" It was because they weren't on the voter list, but they are now. I learned from their assertion too. It was really something. Logically, Oprah-ly, I know it's okay to ask for something and have the person say yes or no on a logical level. But emotionally it's very hard for me to talk myself into the asking, the door knocking. Laura has no problem with this, and I learned what a huge advantage that is, not only for her, but for the people she will surely serve. She is making herself available. Being afraid of putting yourself or your needs out there is nothing short of a handicap. And if you do it "just once" you may end up handicapped- for life. So go people, steward your own ship! Kindly, with determination and humor. I hope you will be as surprised as I was at how well you will be received. Try it, just once.
Next week Spunkerfly Woman of August -Dr. Christine Mullin - there's a lady with good habits!!
Song- Red Light District - Midi Matilda
"The marginal cost of doing something wrong "just this once' always seems alluringly low. You don't see the end result to which that path leads. The key is to define what you stand for and draw the line in that safe place."~Christensen
Danny (husband) was reading a book, HBR'S 10 MUST READS On Managing Yourself-Harvard Business Reviews 10 Best Articles on Managing Yourself. I supposed, like most of us with not enough hours in the day, that I could use some best advice on how to manage this self- meaning myself. It has been a great read so far.
I haven't read each piece- I'm amazed I got a chance to read two of the ten actually- WAAAAHHHHHH- but the first piece How Will You Measure Your Life? by Clayton M. Christensen talks about doing something wrong or against your values or schedule "just this once." Like, (these are not his examples,) "Oh, just this once I'll skip yoga, " "Just this once I won't make my weekly deposit into my savings account," "Just this once I'll put others opinion of me before my opinion of myself," "Just this once I won't speak up," "Just this once I'll let the kids eat in the car," "Just this once I'll skip my post,":D
The thing is that "just once" usually turns into "just one more time" and then "pretty much always." For instance, I was committed to publishing a blog post every Thursday night. Then, after about a year of consistent effort-I thought, well, just this once, I'll do it on Friday...or not at all. At this point I pretty much have a Friday post. It is easier to predict that I will post on a Friday then a Thursday, even though the subheading to Spunkerfly is Thursday Night Post. "Well, how often did I find Page Six of the NYPost on page six?" I rationalized. Game show X. I've been able to recoup an audience but it took a lot more work then if I had remained consistent. As for "the kids can eat in the car just once, it's ice cream- they're screaming"? There isn't enough Febreze on this earth to battle the stench in my minivan. Gimme five. I might have to drive with Scuba head gear so I can look straight ahead but have the air vent out the window.
I have ten and a half point two (roughly) examples going on right now. My "Just Once's" have become a pile of dread's. I'm in a dread lock. I'm not talking Rasta mahn. I'm talking definition b.
Definition of DREAD
1
a : great fear especially in the face of impending evil
b : extreme uneasiness in the face of a disagreeable prospect
Last night I hit the campaign trail with my friend and SpunkerFLY Woman of the Month of June, Laura Curran. Oh, and Nassau County Legislature Nominee. (Is that more important that SWOTM? Maybe.) Anyway, it was a thing I found myself putting off and was feeling worse about putting off. What a treat. I learned so much listening and watching my pal go door to door. We started at dinner time. I was sure this was prime door slam hour...hate to overuse a word but as excited as I was to support and spend time with my friend, I'm not much of a door knocker- dread. I anticipated being scowled at, slammed on, and feeling awkward...all the wonderful positive places my mind goes to in the name of glad-handing. What a surprise to learn that people were actually happy to see us! Happy may be a stretch, on the whole, but some were! Yes, I can say that some were positively happy. Others merely interested- which is a leap and bound above slamming and scowling. Only one person said, "he died a year and a half ago," when we asked if the person was home. Otherwise, super positive. One couple actually came out and called to us from down the block. "My wife wants to know why didn't you knock on our door?" It was because they weren't on the voter list, but they are now. I learned from their assertion too. It was really something. Logically, Oprah-ly, I know it's okay to ask for something and have the person say yes or no on a logical level. But emotionally it's very hard for me to talk myself into the asking, the door knocking. Laura has no problem with this, and I learned what a huge advantage that is, not only for her, but for the people she will surely serve. She is making herself available. Being afraid of putting yourself or your needs out there is nothing short of a handicap. And if you do it "just once" you may end up handicapped- for life. So go people, steward your own ship! Kindly, with determination and humor. I hope you will be as surprised as I was at how well you will be received. Try it, just once.
Next week Spunkerfly Woman of August -Dr. Christine Mullin - there's a lady with good habits!!
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